“Excuse me? Can you Move?”

A Hilarious List of Answers from a Disabled Person When Asked to Move

So a while back my mom and I went to see a movie! This was a big deal for me and caused a great deal of pain. We found good seats in the first row with the railing in front so i could prop up my leg and I have an extra seat so I can stretch my leg out when it spasms. My mother was on my bad side a seat over and I had left a seat open and I put my RSD Leg up on it so it doesn’t get hit. This man came in late and wanted mom to move over so he and his wife could sit down. I perked up and told him why this wasn’t able to happen. “I have Chronic Pain,” I said, “and I need the extra seat so I don’t get hit and cause more pain then I am already in.” He gave me a funny look and somewhat sarcastically said, “Excuse me, I am so sorry.” He then walked back to his wife and said loudly, “We can’t sit there, she has Chronic Pain….” I got to talking with my mom on this topic and we decided to write up a list of other things to say, since “Chronic Pain” is apparently a foreign Phrase in the English Dialect.

1.)”This seat is reserved for my Imaginary Friend. I’ll move but she’s gonna be pissed!”

2.)”I have a communicable disease and you would not be safe.”

3.)”The Little Man who lives in my toe is a trained Killer and will bite on command!”

4.)”As long as you don’t mind if I cuddle. One of my multiple personalities is a tramp.”

5.)”You’ll have to ask my master, she keeps me on a short leash and has an itchy trigger finger.”

6.)”I am afraid this seat is taken as is every other seat, by my bum leg.”

7.)” You can’t have this seat, because the British are coming!”

8.)”I’m sorry! I licked it and it’s MINE!”

9.)”As long as you don’t mind a wet bottom. My friend pee’d before leaving.”

10.) “The last man who sat here turned to stone, wanna try?”

11.)”See this cane? Its actually a cattle prod! Wanna ask again?”

12.)”I always save a seat for Hulk Hogan. I invited him to the movies, and he said we should do that sometime.”

13.)”You could sit here but that would be against my restraining order.”

14.)” Are you blind? The white rabbits own everything!”

15.)(Put hands over ears and rock back and forth) “Doctor said if you ignore the voices, they will go away!”

16.)”Have we been formally introduced? I never oblige complete strangers.”

17.)”Wanna see my death glare? Just ask again!”

18.)” I don’t understand but anyone who sits next to me suddenly becomes suicidal.”

19.)”Would you mind dying a slow and ignominious death?”

20.)”I duck-taped a troll under this seat and he already looks angry!”

21.)” The Who’s are on a speck of dust on this chair. A Persons a Person No Matter How Small!”

22.)”You are going to embarrass and offend my son, he is already sitting there!”

23.)”That spot is reserved for my seeing eye dog, should I ever go blind.”


25.)”I’ll move down as soon as you develop a debilitating neurological disease that causes you to swell and burn with each touch or movement. Oh! Wait…..that’s me!”

I hope this list made you smile but also made you think about how some people need to be educated on the importance on the subject of chronic pain and RSD/CRPS and how it effects those that have it.

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